Skippy
Name: Skippy
Disorganization Number: d10
Gamer Handle: Skippardo
Arcana: The Hermit
Geeky Accomplishments: Built a functional d6 out of maille. Studies Baguazhang (aka Airbending) under the most anime-esque conditions possible. Also studies Aikido. Watched all three LotR extended edition movies back-to-back, then played Exalted. Owns a modest collection of bladed weapons including Andúril, Sephiroth's Masamune, and a scaled down Buster Sword. Coined the phrase “If I were a better GM, I'd have said, ‘No.’” Ran an Exalted game in India. President of the Pierce Taylor fan club.
Favorite Anime: TTGL, Deathnote, Avatar (if you consider Avatar anime)
Favorite Video Games: Xenosaga I-III, SMT: Persona 3, Final Fantasy VI and X
Favorite Pro Authors: Tolkien, Frank Herbert, Douglas Adams, Neil Gaiman
Favorite Tabletop RPG: Exalted
Backstory: Not too long ago in a relatively nearby part of New Jersey, Skippy was sitting at lunch in high school, and the kids at his table were showing him a MechWarrior RPG book. Skippy believed himself to be too cool for that sort of thing, despite the fact that he had been reading Tolkien books continuously for the last two years and had a deep yearning to own a PS1 just so he could play Final Fantasy VII.
That all changed when he moved into a magical place called Demarest 209. One night, Baalesh said to him, “I'm running a role playing game. Do you want to be in it?”
Despite the immense exposure to geekery in his months in Demarest 209, Skippy resisted, replying, “Ummm… I don't know, man.”
“Come on,” said Baalesh, “All your friends are doing it.”
Unable to resist Baalesh's completely non-transparent peer pressure tactics, Skippy said, “Oh, okay. I guess I'll try it.” And thus, it came to pass that Skippy's first role playing experience was a Mage: the Ascension game with way too many PCs (like ten) run in Baalesh's highly abstruse style.
Baalesh's Mage game succeeded in releasing Skippy's repressed geeky nature, and thus his training as a geek began. Over the two and a half years that followed, several of the world's greatest geek masters imparted their secret teachings to Skippy, and by the end of college, he had become a master himself.
After graduating, Skippy relocated to a small, peaceful, remote village to open up his own geek academy. He quickly came to enjoy the simple pleasures that this life had to offer, but one day this all changed. One night, his village was attacked by an army of zombie pirates riding steam powered mechanical dragons and wielding laser guns and giant swords. Skippy knew he was powerful enough to stop them right then and there because he had spent so much time leveling earlier on. But when he tried to act, he realized that he was stuck in a cutscene, and thus had no choice but to watch the tragedy play out.
Swearing vengeance for the annihilation of his village, Skippy set out to track the zombie pirate horde. This was a pretty easy task, because steam powered mechanical dragons don't move particularly fast and tend to break down a lot, especially when their pilots are as incompetent as zombie pirates tend to be.
After defeating the zombie pirates in a rather anti-climactic battle, Skippy found that his thirst for revenge was still unsatisfied. He realized that the destruction of his village was not so much the fault of the zombie pirates as it was the fault of the asshole who decided to put a cutscene at such an inconvenient time. And so, Skippy continued on his journey, seeking clues as to the identity of the person responsible for the cutscene.
In his travels, he met up with some of his old geek mentors, who had experienced similar unfortunate cutscenes. They told him that they had banded together with other masters of geekery to form a band of heroes called Disorganization XIII to end the cutscene menace. They invited him to join, but he refused because he didn't like the Kingdom Hearts reference in their name. This decision resulted in a series of meaningless side quests that didn't even lead to any backstory exposition, so he eventually got bored, and decided to join the Disorganization. Plus, they offered him a free t-shirt.
Traveling together, they discerned a pattern in the appearance of unfortunate cutscenes, and were able to predict the city in which the next cutscene would occur. As soon as they arrived, another cutscene began, and they were knocked unconscious and taken captive by a white-haired androgynous insane clown.
When they came to, they immediately recognized their captor, and each party member tried to have a flashback to the beginning of their quest, but failed. Seeing this, he smiled and said, “I know what you're trying to do. Don't bother. I am in control of this cutscene, and so I am going to structure the plot exposition in such a way as to make me seem like a cooler character.”
“Fine,” said Skippy, “Who are you, anyway?”
“My name is Kabbalah Reference. You've all met me before. I was present during the cutscene that sent you all on your journeys.”
“That can't be! If I had seen you at any point in the past, I would have realized that you were an antagonist because you are a white-haired androgynous insane clown, and defeated you on the spot,” said Skippy.
“Ah,” Kabbalah Reference said smugly, “but it is for that exact reason that I achieved the power to prevent people from realizing that I am an antagonist on that basis. Otherwise, the power to control cutscenes alone would not be very useful.”
“The power to control cutscenes and the power to prevent people from realizing that you are an antagonist even though it's so obvious. What drove you to pursue these powers?” asked Skippy.
Kabbalah Reference grew visibly enraged. &ldquoI found out I was adopted! Now I'm going to take out my anger on the world with a plague of tragic cutscenes!”
Skippy was astonished. “Really? Just because you found out you were adopted? That doesn't seem like such a big deal.”
Regaining his composure, Kabbalah Reference replied, “You forget, I'm a white-haired androgynous insane clown. This sort of thing is in my nature. By the way, why is it only you and me talking, with the other party members remaining quiet?”
“Well that should be obvious. This is just a crappy story that I'm writing about myself. So just like you want to make yourself look like a cooler character in your cutscenes, I want to make myself look like a cooler character in my story.”
“Wait...what the fuck?” asked Kabbalah Reference, writhing in pain. “If you're controlling the story, then how do I control the cutscenes?”
Skippy responded by saying, “*shrug*” And with that, Kabbalah reference lapsed into a catatonic state, forever contemplating the paradox of his existence like some sort of whinny, annoying French philosopher or something.
With Kabbalah Reference neutralized, Skippy and the other members of Disorganization XIII retired from adventuring and took up a life of educating con-goers on the dangers of using cutscenes irresponsibly.